


Reveals of Freya

by FreyaDuLac



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Court Sorcerer Merlin, F/M, Freya Reveal, Magic Reveal, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-09 03:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13472391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyaDuLac/pseuds/FreyaDuLac
Summary: Cuz we don't have enough freylin fanfics. Collection of one-shots with reveals of relationship between Merlin and Freya.





	1. Day  off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther&Arthur&Merlin  
> I read once story simillar to this, so the original idea isn't mine...

\- Please, one day! - Merlin exclaimed, looking at Arthur.

\- Why? That you could spend the whole day in the tavern? - Arthur answered. He didn't see the point of this conversation, Merlin wanted a day off without reason. Probably he wanted to spend the whole day drinking ale. Ygh. Merlin really should stop with drinking.

\- Really, you can't give me one day off? I've never taken a day off since the moment I started working for you! - Merlin shouted, he really wanted that bloody day of. He couldn't tell a reason. Arthur wouldn't understand that. What Merlin didn't realize, that Uther entered the chamber when he was screaming at Arthur. He noticed Arthur's face, then he turned back and saw Uther.

He was in heavy shock.

He bowed his head.

\- My lord. - Merlin was always scared in the presence of the King. He had every reason to be scared.

\- Father. - Arthur greeted his father and rose from the chair.

\- What is going on...? - Uther asked, looking once at servant boy... Merlin he guessed, Gaius's boy. That was the only reason that he remembered his name, once at his son. This servant boy was too disobedient and too pert... but before he judged, he wanted to know the reason.

\- Nothing that you should bother, father... little conversation about a day off. - Arthur answered, looking at his father. He knew, that Merlin could be even wiped for this if his father had a bad day. Merlin was the lazy idiot, but he didn't deserve that, so he tried to pull him out of this mess.

\- Why do you want the day off? - Uther asked, looking at Merlin.

Merlin wondered what he should say... he couldn't avoid the answer like he was doing this with Arthur. He gulped and he decided to do the most stupid thing in his life. Or wait... no. there were some more stupid things he had done, but this was stupid too. Say the truth.

\- I... It's an anniversary of death of my beloved... I want to spend that day at her grave. - Merlin said with a heavy voice. Arthur was shocked by his answer. He expected some excuse "I need to help Gaius" or something like that. Not this! He wanted to say that he must be joking, but he saw Merlin's face and he knew that he was saying the truth. Uther looked at this son with mixed feelings. He knew that the boy was just a servant, but even he could understand that.

\- I didn't know... - Arthur said with weak voice.

There was silence in the room for a while. Everyone was thinking about something.

Arthur didn't know what to think, really. When did that happen? Well.. year ago, but why Merlin's never said something. He didn't even remember to see him sad, or depressed as he should be after the dead of someone he loved. Merlin and the girl?! That was something that he's never expected, and now he learns that his love of life is dead? Why has he never told him?!

Merlin was thinking, if this was a good idea, to tell the truth, he knew that Arthur and the rest will ask him many questions, questions that he couldn't give a clear answer. They couldn't know many things about him and Freya.

Freya... her wonderful name.

Merlin sighed to his own memories.

But Uther was wondering about something quite different and interesting at once.

\- I give you the day off.. but I have one question: You always seem to be cheerful and optimistic, how do you manage that? - Uther asked and surprised the rest. Merlin didn't even know that the King noticed him, not speaking about noticing his moods. Merlin gulped again before he gave the answer.

\- When everybody thinks that I'm a cheerful fool, and nobody knows about my lost... it is easy to pretend that I'm a cheerful fool. - He couldn't understand why he was saying the truth, but for the moment he felt some kind strange connection to the Uther. He knew that feeling. He did terrible things like Great Purge because that dark despair that fills the hole in the heart that was left after the dead of the beloved.

Arthur was more shocked if that was possible.

Uther waved his hand, suggesting Merlin that he is dismissed.

Merlin went in the direction of the doors, but he stopped and looked at Uther.

\- Does it... get easier? After the time? - Merlin looked at the king, he noticed, that Uther felt that strange feeling too... feeling that someone understand what do you feel. How it is like to feel that emptiness and despair at the same time. To feel every negative emotion in the world....

Uther wanted to say that it is getting easier after the time...

\- No. It doesn't. - He said with empty voice.

\- I thought so... - Merlin answered and he left the chamber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If someone is wondering what is going on with my main story... well.. I need some time to warm up with my writing in english. 
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this.  
> Leave some comment and kudos if you liked. It's the fuel for me :D


	2. With all my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU 5x09  
> What if someone else could take off the curse? What if there was the other lake?  
> Freya/Merlin, Arthur/Gwen

\- You must travel to the Lake of Avalon. There will it's Lady waiting for you.. - Dochraid said with a scared voice.

Avalon? Lady of the Lake? Freya?! How... he will be given chance to see her again? But... there will be Arthur and Gwen.

Merlin in Dragoon form raised Excalibur to treat the old witch again.

\- It's that all? - He asked with a growl.

\- No, Emrys. The Queen must enter the Lake. Its waters hold the immortal power of Shide. Only their touch can heal her. Remember, Emrys, the Queen must enter the water willingly. If she is tricked, forced or beguiled, she will fall into the abyss and be lost forever. - Dochraid answered.

Merlin said nothing in return. He just left.

He will see Freya again, but he probably will not have a chance to talk to her, to touch her.

Blessing and the Curse.

 

\- What should we do at this Lake? - Arthur asked, looking at Gaius.

\- From what I know... this Lake has a Guardian, called the Lady of the Lake. Only she can save the Queen. - Gaius answered and looked briefly at Merlin. He knew that was hard for his ward, opening old wounds. Gaius had felt guilty in the past, he was one of the reasons why Freya was dead.

\- Can she be trusted? - Arthur asked, he didn't like the idea of using magic... but if this could save his wife. Last time he wanted to use magic, it killed his father, but he was already dying... Gwen is already on the bad way, what if the story will repeat itself? Arthur closed his eyes for a second, trying to focus on thinking if this was a good idea. He knew, that it was the only idea they had.

\- She knows your pain. She lost her love of life... I think that she can be trusted with the matter of love. - Gaius answered and Merlin froze, hearing this words. How could Gaius say something like this in his presence?! He closed his eyes with pain, which touched his body and very soul.

\- Very Well... We are going to leave tomorrow morning. - Arthur said and he left the room. Merlin gave his mentor a cold look and then he went to his room as well.

Freya... how could he talk to her, without revealing himself. He couldn't just watch her! If she will really be there, he must talk to her. He sacrificed so much... he didn't even have time to mourn because there was always treats to Camelot. Seeing her will be a blessing and he will talk to her... somehow.

 

In the morning, they drugged the Queen during the breakfast and they managed to take her off from Camelot, then they started to ride in direction of the Lake. Lake of ashes for him... it was one big grave for everybody that was close to him. It was always a pain to see that lake. It was the monument of his every failure. When they arrived on the shore... Freya was waiting for them. Merlin looked at her and gulped, something inside him wanted to run to her, hug her, kiss her... but then, Arthur spoke.

\- Are you the Lady of the Lake? - Arthur asked, looking at her.

\- Yes, I'm. And you are Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot. - She answered with a calm voice. She looked at Merlin, she wanted to reach to him, kiss him... ask him about strawberries, but she couldn't risk of revealing him. It was good to see him again, but it was painful at the same time.

\- Do you know why I'm here? - He asked, looking and strangely familiar woman. Merlin went to the King's horse and helped to put Queen on the ground, then Arthur stood to the ground too.

\- Yes, I do. - short answer, then she looked at the Queen, who was lying on the ground. - But I must warn you... I can summon the power, that will clear Queen's heart... but it will be you, who must reach it first. - She looked at Arthur.

\- What do you mean? - Arthur was unsure. He didn't know what the sorceress meant.

\- Queen must enter to lake willingly. Not tricked, not forced... You must reach the part of her heart that wasn't touched by the Witch influence. - Freya explained, looking at Arthur. Trying to focus on the important matter, but was her love unimportant? Really? In what kind of world they have to live if one love was more important than another? She knew that Merlin was staring at her... but he could allow doing so, Arthur wasn't looking at him... but she couldn't even look in his eyes again because that would be suspicious.

\- There is such part? - Arthur asked.

\- You underestimate the power of love... my king. - She answered with a small smile, looking briefly at Merlin, and then at the Queen.

\- I will wake up her... then, you have to convince her to enter the lake. If you don't manage that... she will be lost in the abyss forever. - Freya warned and then she came closer. Arthur gulped. The fate of his wife, of his queen, was in his hands. - Are you ready? - Freya asked and looked at King, who nodded.

\- Gielde ic thec thissa meowlessawole, gyden aeblaece. - Lady's eyes burned with gold and she stood back, Arthur knelt next to Gwen, who began to stir. Queen awakens, startled.

\- Where am I? What have you done to me? - Gwen asked, looking around and then at her husband.

\- You've been asleep for a long time. - Arthur answered, trying to reach her with his hand.

\- Get away from me! - Gwen tried to run away, but Arthur caught her arm and hold her strong, then he catches her second and tried to look into her eyes.

\- Guinevere. My Guinevere.... - he started with a weak voice.

\- Your Guinevere? You stupid, foolish man. I was never yours and never will be. - she spat, looking at him with disgust. Freya stood next to Merlin, looking at him... it was only it that they were allowed, Freya must remain focused, but she wanted to kiss him so badly, tell him that she loves him so much. She looked at King and Queen, little warned.

\- You must reach her, Arthur. Reach out or all is lost. - She remanided him... like he didn't know that.

\- Who is she? - Gwen murmured and then looked at Arthur, trying to break out from his hands.

\- You loved me once. - King said.

\- You are easily fooled, Arthur. - Queen didn't deny that, but she couldn't agree either.

-: And still do. - Arthur continued stubbornly

\- It was a trick. Nothing more. A subterfuge to pass Camelot to its rightful Queen. - Gwen claimed.

\- I don't believe that. - and he never will. That was all Morgana. He had to fight for his love. He couldn't lose her too. If he lose her... he would lose everything. Morgana could take whole Camelot if she would want... because that would mean nothing to him.

\- Believe what you like. The fact remains. - She answered, struggling to free herself, but it was difficult to break Arthur's grasp. Arthur started to drag her to the Lake, he was run out of options, really... but then he heard Merlin's voice.

\- No Arthur! Remember... she must enter willingly. - he reminded him. Arthur looked briefly at him, and then he returned with his eyes to Gwen. He pulled her closer, that they were face to face.

\- Look at me. Tell me you don't love me. - He was so scared what she could answer.

\- Let me go! - She shouted. She didn't deny... that was a small light of hope.

\- Do you remember when I asked you to marry me? Do you remember what you said? You said, "With all my heart." That's what you said, Guinevere. That was no subterfuge. No trickery. - He remembered, looking at his wife. Freya looked at Merlin with a sad smile. They couldn't get married... they were separated forever, but the even sweet veil of death couldn't break their love. She touched gently his hand with her fingers. Melin froze... there was so much unsaid between them, and they couldn't draw attention and them. They looked at the royal couple. Queen stopped fighting, she was just staring at Arthur.

\- With all my heart. - Arthur said again, looking at Guinevere. - With all my heart. - he started walking toward the lake, still looking at his wife.

\- With all my heart... - Gwen answered with a soft voice, starting to walk to the lake with Arthur.

\- Come. - Arthur whispers to her, and they entered the lake. Then Freya came closer to the lake.

\- Yfel gaest, ga thu fram thisselichaman. Bith hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofonutungol sceal thurhswithan. - Freya chanted and then bubbles of blue light started to fly around the Queen. After they fade, Gwen turned around and looked at Arthur with a smile, extending her hand to him. Arthur wades towards her and embraces her. Merlin looked at Freya and gripped her hand. She looked at him with surprise, but she smiled. They didn't have long, he had to take his hand away because Arthur and Gwen were coming to the shore.

Freya stood closer to her lake, Merlin had to stand with Gwen and Arthur... no matter how much we wanted to stay at her side.

\- I owe you a great debt. We both do. If there's ever anything I can do in return... - Arthur looked at the Lady of the lake. He couldn't believe that he was proposing something like this to the sorceress, but she helped him to take back his lovely Guinevere.

\- There are two things. - Freya said after a while.

\- We are listening. - Gwen answered with a smile, but Arthur teased, thinking what witch could want from them.

\- Remember what saved you. Magic and sorcery. - She said with a smile.

\- It was also sorcery that bewitched her. - Arthur remained.

\- There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men. Your sister choose to turn against her own... it just happened that she chose magic as her weapon. My request is that you remember this. - Freya answered, looking at Arthur. She wanted so badly to change Arthur's view on the magic... she wanted that Merlin could be free, live without fear, feeling like a monster. He deserved that.

\- I promise. - Arthur said he had to think more about it.

-...and the second one? - Gwen asked after a few seconds. Freya swallowed and nervously rubbed her hands.

\- Once... I was in Camelot. - she stared. - Before I died... - she was saying, but she was interrupted.

\- Are you dead? - Arthur asked with shock.

\- Yes... I died by your sword. - Freya answered with raised head. Arthur and Gwen were shocked. Merlin only looked sad. - I don't blame you... I was cursed. Death was a mercy for me. - She answered, looking at Arthur who was troubled. Why did she help them, if he had killed her?!

\- There was a boy, who wanted to save me. My impossible boy... who made me smile when I thought that I'm a monster. We wanted to run away, live in the place like this. - she looked at the lake with a sad smile, and then she looked at the royal couple. - He even stole that dress for me, for the disguise. - Freya laughed, looking in Merlin direction, but trying to don't draw the attention to him. Gwen looked at the dress, that was strangely familiar.

\- It was one of Morgana's dresses. - Gwen said, wondering.

\- My... I guessed that he stole it from some noble, but I'd never suspected. - she smiled. Gwen started to wonder when she saw that dress last time... but it was when Merlin... MERLIN!

\- Even when I was wounded, he didn't allow me to die in the dirty place in Camelot... he brought me here, it was raining and he troubled himself to bring me here, to let me die in place looking like my home. - she continued her story and then she looked at Arthur.

\- He still lives at the court... I can't tell you his name, I don't want to see him on the pyre for treason... but tell on the court, that I love him... I'd never chance to say it to him. - she rubbed her cheek to take off this one little traitorous tear which fell from her eye. Gwen looked at Merlin, connecting everything in the bigger picture. He looked so depressing.

\- I love you too... - Merlin answered loudly and walked toward her.

\- Merlin... you are putting yourself in danger. - Freya warned him.

\- I don't care. For once! I don't care. I have a chance to see you again... I won't waste it because of fear for my life... If Arthur decided to hang me... At least I will be united with you. - he whispered, but it was loud enough to Arthur and Gwen to hear. Arthur was in heavy shock, he just wanted to say that he is sorry for her tragical love story and promise her that he will say that to her lover... but he'd never suspected that was Merlin! He was still processing that what Merlin said... what.. why... why did Merlin think that Arthur would hang him?

\- You know that I don't want to see you at my side yet... you have to live. - Freya answered. Merlin took her hands and hold them.

\- Why the world is such unfair? - He said with depressed voice. - I miss you so badly. - he left one of her hands to touch her cheek. She smiled... she smiled like then, when he gave her that rose. Her beautiful smile.

\- I don't know... but I love you. Maybe in another life... - Freya said with a sad voice.

\- We would live in that house at the shore of the lake. - he said and hugged her.

\- There would be some wildflowers and few cows. - she laughed.

\- And strawberries. - Merlin added with a smile, then he stepped back a little, to look at her face. He kissed her. Kissed her like it was the last time he was able to do so... because probably he was right and it was his last chance to do so.

\- Goodbye Merlin... we will see each other again...- she said with the smile after she broke the kiss. She had to come back to Avalon.

\- How can you be so sure? - Merlin asked.

\- We always do... - she smiled... and in the next second, she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably could write conversation between Gwen, Arthur and Merlin about that what happened at the Lake... If someone is interested, let me know. <33 
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed, if you do, leave some comment or kudos, it's fuel for me <3  
> See ya in the next.


	3. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random Idea...   
> Freya&Merlin  
> Magic Reveal   
> cliche.

Why problems always know where to find them?

This should be usual hunting trip.

Nothing more.

Yeah, sure.

That was in Merlin's mind when he was pulled by some thugs by the corridors of the old castle. They were captured and he could do nothing without revealing himself, but he will work this out. He always do. He looked to check on Arthur and Knights. They seemed to be fine. Gwaine looked like he could kill everybody with the blink of the eye. But he couldn't. Merlin could. He didn't even have to blink. They came to old throne room, where was sitting a man... he didn't look like somebody that Merlin expected. He thought about some Warlord or Slave master... but this man was, somebody else. He looked elegant, then Merlin noticed the staff. Ugh. Sorcerer, of course.

\- Ahh... Guests have arrived. - He said with the smile and rose up from the old, stone throne.

\- What do you want from me? - Arthur asked without second thought. It was always about him and his kingdom.... he wanted money? His head?

\- From you Pendragon? Nothing at all... You two. Bring Emrys here. - He pointed at two thugs, who went to take Merlin, who became pale as a sheet. He swallowed slowly and he let them take him. The rest of thugs chained the knights and king to the wall.

\- From who? Merlin? What could... - Arthur asked with shock, looking at his manservant with worry.

\- Silence! Silentio! - the sorcerer cast the spell at king at the knights, they found themselves unable to say a word. Then, the man turned to Merlin with the sly smile.

\- Emrys... Great Emrys on his knees. - He laughed. Merlin looked at Arthur like he was trying to say that he says sorry, for whatever would happen now. He tried to use his magic, but then he felt terrible pain on his hands.

\- Don't try your tricks Emrys... This handcuffs won't allow you. - Sorcerer said with the smile. - But where are my manners? I'm Castylius, it's is a pleasure to meet you, Emrys.

\- Then all pleasure is yours. - Merlin murmured under his nose. That made sorcerer smile.

\- I should ask you why are you protecting this Pendragon's scum... but that won't matter after I will be done with you. - He said with the smile.

\- And what is that? - Merlin asked.

\- You know how it is to be born with magic, don't you? - Castylius asked and turned away from him, Merlin didn't give him an answer, but he looked at Arthur, who couldn't say a word. He was trying to free himself, but when he heard that phrase, he froze and looked at this man... a person that he thought he was his friend but was he?

\- When everybody around hates your very being, tell you how evil magic is...when you start to think that you are a monster. - Sorcerer was speaking and preparing something at the same time, but Merlin couldn't see what. Merlin knew this very well... sometimes, he still thought that he is a monster. He was afraid of his powers, what could he do. He tried to find the final line of his abilities, something that he couldn't do... but he couldn't find it.

\- What is the point? - Merlin asked, without revealing his feelings on this subject.

\- That I will make you a true monster. - The man turned his face to look at Merlin, his smile was disturbing. - There is no possibility, to convince people that Magic isn't evil. Uther's purge changed people's mind... so... I will show them, how evil it can be.

Melin felt disgusted, hearing this. People like him destroy everything that he tried to build. Everything. Using magic in such abusive way. Magic should be used to good, to heal, to protect. Not for evil. He felt ill.

\- This is the blood of the Fomorroh... you know what it is, don't you? - Castylius showed a small bottle of black liquid. Merlin was trying to use his magic, but as hard he tried that more pain he felt. He knew that nothing good will came of this. He knew how Lamia was created in the first place.

\- I don't know what will happen when I will mix blood of the great Emrys with this... but I can't wait to see it. - Goddess, this man was so twisted. Merlin tried to say something, but then one of the thugs made him stand and hold him.

\- Don't fight Emrys... soon it will be done. - Castylius took a knife and cut Merlin's neck, slowly... care to not cut the main veins. Merlin hissed with pain, then this sorcerer started to pour the black blood into Merlin's wound.

Merlin felt so strange... so numb. Like his mind was flying away, he tried to fight with that feeling, but it was so strong. Evil ideas started to show up in his mind, how he could use his great powers. No, NO! NO!. He had to fight with this. He knew that the fell to the floor, but he didn't feel it. Everything was so blurred...

Arthur had so many thoughts on his mind, that he couldn't focus on one. Merlin has magic, or this sorcerer is mad and only says that way... but no. That look in Merlin's eyes. He exactly knew what that sorcerer was talking about. How could he lie to him like this?! Why did he choose such dark art?! He was clumsy cheerfull Merlin, not sorcerer. Born with magic?! That was impossible. Merlin feeling like a monster? But Merlin was like a puppy. But then Castylius revealed his plan, Arthur didn't know what was that black thing, but it didn't seem good. He wanted to break up, to help Merlin. He wasn't sure why. He wanted to protect his kingdom from this "monster" that Merlin will become? Or he wanted to save his friend?! HE WANTED TO SCREAM, but he couldn't. King looked at his knights, some of them were confused, Gwaine was angry as hell...

Then Merlin fell to the ground.

Arthur was looking at him, he didn't know what could happen next.

And he especially didn't expect something like this.

Out from nowhere, Woman with a dress made like for princess, very beautiful woman, showed up.

\- YOU LITTLE... - She stopped herself from cursing. She just waved her hand and her eyes became amber.... then Castylius was pushed with great force to the wall.

Crack.

Neck broken.

Dead.

Thugs attacked her.

Crack.

Necks are broken.

She looked around and she noticed Camelotian boys. She waved her hand again and muttered a spell. Chains fell to the ground and they felt that they could talk again. Without a word, she ran to Merlin and she kneeled next to him.

\- Merlin! MERLIN! Woke up. Don't fall asleep! - She screamed. Arthur and the knights came closer, Arthur kneeled on the other side of Merlin.

\- Can you help him? - He didn't know who she was, but... maybe she could help. He didn't think clearly, too much at once. Freya looked at King, with teary eyes.

\- Only he can save himself, he must fight with this. - She answered with a sad voice, she looked again at Merlin.

\- My love... fight with this. - She said. Arthur was shocked... they loved each other? How much didn't he know about his manservant?

\- I must be dying if I can see you again... - Merlin said with weak voice. He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't on the longer time than few seconds, it was so strong, his whole mind wanted to fly away, go to sleep, just give up to this darkness.

\- No, you are not dying. - Freya assured him and touched his cheek. - Not dying, do you understand? I don't allow you. Fight with this. - few tears fall from her eyes.

\- Well.. even if I survive this, this prat will execute me... - he murmured, Freya looked at Arthur with the face "say something and if you say something wrong I will kill you".

\- I'm not going to kill you Merlin, who would clean my socks? - Arthur tried to say something that he could say if this situation was normal. But it wasn't. Merlin wanted to smile, but it was so hard. King looked at him, still didn't know what should be thinking, he looked at the knights, who were standing in the circle around them. They looked at Merlin with sympathy... Arthur took a breath, Merlin had to live, because he couldn't be angry and argue with the dead man, right?

\- You are prat... - Merlin said. - Freya... how...? - he tried to look at her again, but he wanted to sleep so badly.

\- That doesn't matter right now. Fight with this Merlin. For both of us. - She took his hand and put it on her cheek, helping him to touch her again, that he could be sure that she is real. - You made me feel loved when I was a monster... I can't allow you to become one. - She whispered.

\- You weren't a mons... - he tied to answer, but he failed at the end, his lips didn't want to work with him.

\- Let me disagree with you. - She had a sad smile on her lips.

\- You were the poor innocent girl with terrible burden and curse. - Merlin found some strength to answer her. Arthur was just looking at them, listening to their conversation.

\- You will survive this, Merlin. - She told him, holding his hand on her cheek.

\- Why? Because... Am I Emrys? - He asked, wanted to roll his eyes. Everything in his life was dictated by destiny, he was destiny puppet. If this was about this... then he felt that he want to give up. Sometimes he was so sick of this "destiny thing".

\- No... Because you are Merlin. - She answered with a smile. - The boy who made me smile when I thought that was impossible. Think about strawberries... you know, you have to give me one. - Freya laughed, but it was a sad laugh. She was trying to convince Merlin to fight with this poison in his veins.

\- I stole that dress for you, you made me a thief. - Merlin smiled dreamily, remembering when he had stolen that dress from Morgana.

\- I did not! - Freya answered with pretended indignation.

\- Well... for you, I could steal the whole castle.

\- Probably with your powers, you could do it... but you have to fight with this. You can't miss Arthur's face, when he will see, that whole castle is gone, right? - that was one thing that he had to do, fight. He can do it. Freya was sure of this. Merlin didn't give an answer, Freya griped stronger his hand.

\- Wake up, you idiot. - Arthur said, looking at him with worry. He was scared, so scared... he didn't want Merlin to die, or worse. He didn't know what could happen to him, but it didn't sound good. Merlin only chuckled.

\- Think about the life we could have. When we were planning to run away from Camelot... quiet place, with mountains, fields, wildflowers... - She kept saying something, talking to him. She didn't know what else she could do, but she was here for reason... to save him.

\- Would you be my wife? - Merlin asked with a pale smile.

\- Of course! We would already have few children! - Freya laughed.

\- I... I hope they would have your ears. - Merlin answered with a weak voice, making everybody smile. - If I won't have a chance to say this... I love you Freya... and Arthur... you are my best friend, sorry that I lied to you.

\- I know, I love you too Merlin.

\- Hold on Merlin...

...

...

 

Merlin passed out.

Everybody was looking at him.

Waiting.

What would happen next?

Then, Merlin's body bends unnaturally and all black blood started to pour out from his body.

Freya smiled and screamed with happiness. Then he said a spell, which burned all black blood.

\- Is he fine? - Gwaine asked.

\- Yeah... probably he is only tired. - Freya said with relief.

\- We need to move out from this place. - Leon said and everybody agreed with him.

 

They made a camp, during the journey to the Camelot. They rode and made camp in silence, Percival put Merlin on the blanket next to the Freya, she took his hand and twisted their fingers. She looked at his face with love and worry.

\- So... how did Merlin win the heart of such badass sorceress? - Gwaine asked, trying to break the silence and resolve some tension. Freya laughed, hearing this. Badass sorceress. She shook her head and looked at the knight.

\- I was brought to the Camelot to be executed. Merlin helped me. - Freya smiled. - Risked his life for me... I don't know when we fall in love. That was so quick. - she couldn't help herself, when she was telling about that, her smile became brighter.

\- So, Merlin helped you run away from dungeons? - Arthur asked, unsure. He didn't know what to think yet.

\- No. I was in the cage. Brought by bounty hunter. - She shook her head. Arthur had always hated this kind of people. They saw only money, nothing more. Many times they brought innocents, but his father was ruthless.

\- How did you find us? - Elyan asked with a raised brow. Nobody questioned her sudden appearance. Freya sighed.

\- I felt this... profane. Mixing Emrys's blood with the blood of such dark creature. It was like a heavy punch. I was pulled out from the Avalon, just to save him. - Lady of the Lake looked at Merlin with a sad smile and rubbed his cheek. For everyone with magic, such act was like a blow, they all felt it.

\- Merlin is so important? - Arthur asked, unbelieving. He made Freya laugh.

\- Is Merlin important... - she shook her head. - He is magic... and magic is the thing which holds the world in one piece. When he would be corrupted, all world would be. I'm scared to think what could happen... - It would be something that people would call the apocalypse. End of the world. Nobody could survive this. Because life was a magical gift. Everybody has a little piece of magic inside them... and they all would be corrupted, like Emrys.

\- He lied to us all this time. - Arthur accused.

\- Princess... are you forgetting that magic is banned in the Camelot? His existence is banned? - Gwaine asked, looking at his king and he started to doubt if he could really call him "his king" much longer.

\- Yes, he lied. And he hated that... but... shadow is consuming thing. You start lying and there is no end of this. You have to protect everyone. No matter the cost. When they look at you, they see you as bubbling idiot... it is easier. It's what you wanna be. Idiot, whose only problem is to polish armor properly... if they would know, that every day you are making decisions that affect the whole Albion... how would they look at you? They would be angry because you lied. They would be worried because you risk your life every day. They would be disappointed because you weren't honest with them. - Freya started her monologue and she didn't allow anybody to interrupt her. She had enough seeing Merlin is such poorly state. Dying inside. - So you continue lying. Because you know, that if they knew, you couldn't protect them. You sacrifice your own life for this... and one day, you realize... that you don't have your own life. All you have is them. - She finished, looking at her love of the life. Her poor Merlin, he was under such pressure. She wanted to help him as much as she could, but she... couldn't do much. She was separated from him for the most time. That speech made all knights shut up... all except one.

\- Are you the lady of the lake? - Percival asked. Freya looked at him with surprise. - I lived with druids for while, they told stories about tragic romance of the Emrys and the Lady of the Lake. - Percival explained.

\- Yes, I'm. And this is our tragic love story... Immortal Emrys and the dead lady of the lake. Separated by the sweet veil of death, which usually we can't cross. - Freya explained. - When Merlin will wake up... I will have to come back to Avalon. - Freya sighed.

\- You... are dead. - Arthur said with shock mixed with unsureness.  
\- Yes... I died by your blade. - Freya said with a neutral voice. - And Merlin forgave you that. Like many other things. - she shrugged.

\- Did you forgive me? - Arthur asked, he wasn't surprised that he was the one who killed her... he recognized her. Silence was his answer. Merlin started moving and waking up. Freya was watching him when he started to open his eyes.

\- Hello, my sleeping beauty. - Freya laughed and kissed him.

-... Goodbye, my love. - Merlin whispered with a sad voice, after the kiss. He knew that Freya will be gone soon.

\- Don't be sad, my love. I'm always with you. - that's was Freya's last words, before she disappeared. Merlin closed his eyes for few second, trying to remember how her sweet lips taste like, and then he looked at the knights... goddess. He didn't have strength for this now.


	4. Like papa loves mom?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-5x13  
> Court Sorcerer Merlin  
> OC - Ygraine Yvette Pendragon - Arthur's daughter.  
> Nobody died in 5x13

Arthur watched his daughter studies with a smile. She was born after all this mess in the past. Arthur wanted to create the world, where his daughter didn't have to be in a situation like he had to. Fighting with his own sister during dark times of evil magic. Now, times were different, he made sure of it. He was standing in the shadow of the library and listening, how Merlin was teaching his daughter basement of alchemy, she wanted to know basic things, at least that was what she was saying. Arthur thought that she wanted to spend more time with "uncle Merlin". Who was difficult to find somewhere else than the library, he had a nose in the books all the time.

Merlin.

This impossible man.

Few years in the past, who would think that Arthur's daughter would call him uncle, that Arthur would make him the most important person in the court. Who would believe in such things? But now it was reality. Arthur smiled, remembering times when Merlin was his servant. It seemed to be so long ago like it was in other life. But moments with him and his wife were lighting points in the dark times. He was brought back to earth from his mind when he heard the question of his daughter.

\- Uncle, can I ask you a question? - she asked. Merlin raised his brow, but on his lips was a kind smile.

\- Sure. What is on your mind, my dear? - He asked gently.

\- Do you love somebody? Like papa loves mommy? - She shocked them both. It was so easy to question, typical from the child, who could ask about everything. Merlin in love? In the old times, he couldn't imagine such thing, such woman who would want such clumsy and lazy man, but now, who knows? He was quite intrigued and wanted to know the answer.

After the first shock, Merlin smile changed, it was sad... it looked so unnatural to him. Arthur knew that Merlin had been through a lot, but seeing him sad was always strange. What was behind this?

\- I did... once. - he answered. - I still do... I suppose. - he added after a short while.

\- Have I auntie? - She asked with a smile, making Merlin snort with a sad laugh.

\- No... She's gone. - Merlin answered with a heavy voice.

\- Gone? Where? - Yvette asked with a smile, child was so innocent.

Arthur knew what was going on. He had so many questions on his mind. How? When? Who? If she had magic... No, Arthur didn't kill her. Merlin would tell him. Would hate him! So, she had to die in another way, no by his or his father hand. Maybe it was back in Ealdor? Nah... back then Merlin was such a grown-up child.

\- Somewhere where I can't follow her. - He didn't give her straight answer.

\- Will she come back? - Princess asked.

\- I don't know. - Merlin said and looked somewhere. Thinking about his Freya, his Lady of the Lake. Maybe there was a way to see her again, he couldn't admit to her, that he was madly looking for such way. Seeing everybody from the roundtable married was terrible to him. It was a horrible pain, knowing that such thing wasn't his destiny. He will be always separated from her.

\- I hope she will come back! When papa's knights' don't come back on time, he sends scouts.... maybe you should do it too? - she proposed. Merlin smiled, but he said nothing.

\- It's high time to come back to your studies, My lady. - He said, changing the subject. Arthur left the library unnoticed, he thought about that what he learned. He needed to ask his wife about his, maybe she knew something more.

What kind of friend he was, if he didn't know about such important even in Merlin's life, like the death of his beloved?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such little thing, but I hoped that you enjoyed <3  
> If you did, leave a kuddos or comment. <3  
> See ya in the next. <3


	5. Random Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It can be conected with my one-shot "Like papa loves mom", but it don't have to.  
> Nobody died in 5x13  
> Court Sorcerer Merlin

When Arthur learned about Merlin's lost love, he was confused. Why has Merlin never told him? They are friends for the goddess's sake! Almost brothers! Bloody coin of destiny and more bullshits like this! Why he didn't know about this!

\- Merlin... we need to talk. - Arthur started, but he wasn't sure how to start the main subject. Merlin took away his eyes from the book and looked at the king and nodded, waiting for Arthur to say whatever he wanted to say. But King... was out of the words.

\- Soo... you wanted to talk, but you standing here like a princess waiting for an invitation to the party. - Merlin sighed and smiled, closing the book at the same time.

\- I overheard you. - Arthur started, making Merlin rise his brow. - Not intentionally, but yet...

\- Soo... what did you hear? - Merlin asked, unsure what should he expect.

\- Why did you never told me, that you were in love? - Arthur asked directly.

Merlin was in shock after this question. The memories came back. When he returned to the castle after Freya's death and Arthur was so proud of himself that he killed that beast. He made Merlin clean his sword from the blood. He was cleaning sword from the blood of his beloved, which belonged to her murderer. How should he suppose to tell Arthur about something like this? Freya... her wonderful smile, sweet taste of her lips, her laugh... Merlin shocked his head.

\- I thought that we are done with secrets after we talked about everything that you have done to Camelot. - Arthur continued and found a chair and sat down on the opposite side of the desk. Merlin looked at him and sighed.

\- I told you that I will skip some random stories, which wasn't important. - Merlin answered, making King shocked. Wait. WHAT? What was Merlin thinking?! Arthur couldn't believe what he heard at this moment. He looked at his court sorcerer amazed.

\- Death of your love was some... random story?! Like a random story about some monster we killed?! UNBELIEVABLE! - Arthur shouted, but Merlin was silent, he laughed bitterly when Arthur said about a random monster. When Arthur finished, Merlin only sighed.

\- For me... she was everything, the most important person in my life. - Merlin's smile was so sad. -... but that is what she was for you... random monster YOU killed. - he couldn't stop himself. If Arthur wanted to know the truth! Here it is. Uncomfortable, bitter truth. He was the murderer of beloved of his the best friend.

\- Wh...what? - Arthur didn't expect that he... didn't know what to think.

\- You heard me. You killed Freya. I don't blame you, she was cursed... but that is the truth. - Merlin shrugged.

Arthur was silent for a long time, they sat there in this strange atmosphere.

\- I'm sorry. - Arthur whispered, he didn't ask about the details, he didn't know if he was ready for this. Merlin didn't say anything and Arthur left.

They have never talked about this again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another little thing, but I don't have time for longer ones x.x  
> I hope that you enjoyed this <3  
> See ya in the next.


	6. Safety

\- Sire! I couldn't hold her... - Sir Leon said, trying to stop young woman entering the chamber of the royal couple. The intruder was shaky, she was looking around.

\- What?! Who are you?! - Arthur asked with shock, but before the girl managed to answer, he heard the voice of his manservant.

\- Freya?! What are you doing here? - Merlin entered the chamber with a plate with Arthur's meal, but he put it on the closest cupboard when he'd seen Freya. The girl came closer to him and hugged him and started to cry.

\- Freya... what's wrong? - Merlin ignored Leon's and Arthur's questioning looks, he was more concerned about his love.

\- Hen... Henry... - she started, but then Merlin took a step back and looked into her wet eyes.

\- Where is Henry? - he asked and gulped.

\- He is with Gaius... Morgana... found us. She... - Freya didn't manage to finish because Merlin took her hand and pulled her out of the chamber and they start running in the direction of court physician's chambers. Arthur rose from his chair and went after them, he was quite shocked and he didn't understand anything. Sir Leon was with him... if this woman would tell him that she is looking for Merlin, he would even help her, but he could understand that she was in a panic or something. They entered Gaius's chambers and Merlin asked directly.

\- How is he? - his voice was panicked and full of anger at the same time. Leon and Arthur saw a young boy lying on Merlin's bed. He was shirtless and Gaius was tending his wounds.

\- He will live and he will be alright, but there will be a scar. When I finish, he would need to rest for at least a few days. - Gaius said and put a wet gauze on boy's wound. Merlin realized that Freya didn't enter his room, she was standing in the main chamber, this room wasn't big enough to put there so many people and she understood that Merlin would need to see Henry and the king and his first knight entered there before she could.

Merlin pushed Arthur out of his way and he went to Freya.

HE PUSHED ARTHUR.

King was so shocked that he didn't react.

\- Freya. What happened. - He hissed, he wasn't angry at her, but he needed to release this anger in some way.

\- Will he be alright? - She asked, sobbing.

Then Merlin realized that she was shaking, he sighed and he murmured sorry under his nose and hugged her.

\- He will be good, he needs to rest. - Merlin answered, repeating Gaius's words. She relaxed a little, but she was still shaking. Merlin stepped back a little and looked at Freya. - Please, tell me what happened. - He asked again and helped her to sit down on the hair. He put a blanket on her arms.

\- M...Morgana found us... she wanted to take us as prisoners. - She answered after a while. Mentioning the witch caught Arthur's and Leon's attention even more.

\- Henry stood against her... you know how much he wants to impress you. - Freya added after a while, those words made Merlin smile sadly.

\- Could anybody explain to us what is going on? - Arthur asked without patience but Merlin ignored him, he sat next to Freya.

\- She attacked him... she wanted to kill him! But when she was distracted... I managed to take Henry and run away here. - She started to shaking again, remembering all of this what happened before. Merlin hugged her again and put his chin on her head.

\- Shh... You are safe now. You and Henry are safe. - Merlin whispered. - You will be safe. I promise you this. I won't abandon you again. - he said with sureness in his voice. That confess made Freya look at him with widely open eyes.

\- You can't... - she whispered.

\- Yes, I can. When Henry will be in better condition, we are going to leave Camelot, together. - He answered.

\- WHAT?! - he heard Arthur screaming, but again, he ignored him.

\- You can't Merlin! That is what Morgana wants! - They started to argue, don't care about the public.

\- MY SON ALMOST DIED TODAY! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT I CAN'T BE THERE TO PROTECT HIM! - Merlin raised his voice, Henry and Freya were in danger because of him! He just couldn't leave them, when Morgana knew that he has a weak spot.

Arthur was stoned he looked at Leon, who was shocked as much as he.

That boy was Merlin's son?!

\- BUT MORGANA WANTS TO DRIVE YOU AWAY FROM CAMELOT, YOU KNOW THAT! - Freya answered if Morgana will conquer the Camelot, there won't be a place where they could be safe and Merlin knew it!

\- YOU TWO CAN'T LIVE IN CAMELOT, YOU CAN'T LIVE ALONE OUTSIDE CAMELOT TOO. DO YOU SEE ANY OTHER WAY? BECAUSE I DON'T! - They were shouting at each other.

Arthur wanted to interrupt, but he was kinda... scared, no that wasn't a good word to describe it, but it seemed to be like marriage argue that he shouldn't be even listening... wait. If that boy was his servant's son, that woman was his wife?! Merlin had a family?! In secret?! Why?! Why his family couldn't live in Camelot?!

\- YOU ARE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN STOP MORGANA FROM RETAKING CAMELOT, AND IF SHE WILL BE QUEEN AGAIN, THERE WON'T BE A PLACE WHERE WE COULD BE SAFE AT ALL, YOU KNOW IT!

Merlin wanted to answer something, but then he heard a weak boyish voice.

\- Dad, mom... - he heard Henry said. They stopped this argue for now and they went to their son. Freya sat next to her baby and Merlin knelt on the floor.

\- I'm sorry... I wanted to make you proud. - he whispered, looking at Merlin.

\- I know, I'm always proud of you... I'm the one who should say sorry, I shouldn't put both of you at the danger. Morgana is after me, not you. - Merlin answered and took his boy's hand.

\- We are a family Merlin. - Freya reminded him.

\- Yeah, I still don't know why I married you. - Merlin tried to joke, to release some tension. Freya smiled and punched him between ribs.

\- Because you love me. - She answered with a smile.

\- More than anything. - He whispered. - That's why we are going to leave Camelot at dawn. - he decided.

\- Merlin! Henry is in no condition to travel tomorrow. - Gaius interrupted.

\- I won't take any chances that something more will happen to him! - Merlin raised his voice again. Freya and Henry weren't safe in Camelot. Merlin learned how to live in shadows, how to lie and adapting to the brutal reality, where he would be beheaded if his the best friend know the truth. He just left the chambers and went somewhere to clear his mind. Freya looked at shocked King and his first knight, then she looked at her son, who was again unconscious.


	7. Safety 2

Arthur didn't know what to do. He wasn't even sure if all of this was real.

Merlin had wife and child! In secret! He hadn't told him!

This boy was around 6 years old!

How?! When?! I mean.. he knew how, but...!

Merlin stormed out of the room, leaving only silence. Freya was looking at her son with worry and love. Arthur didn't know what he should say, what he should feel. He was just looking at doors, where he saw his servant before he left.

\- The only thing that Merlin loves equally as he loves Camelot it is his family. We both know that. But how Morgana learned about it? - Freya asked with a soft voice, rubbing her son's face.

\- I don't know my dear... But Merlin is right in one thing, you aren't safe alone. - Gaius answered. Freya sighed hard.

\- I will be more careful. - her voice was strong, confident.

\- This is not about your carefulness. Morgana is powerful and you know that...

\- So what?! I should leave with Merlin? What about Camelot?! - Freya interrupted with outraged voice.

\- No.. but you know. - Gaius looked at Arthur, who was still in the room. Freya gulped, realizing that he didn't go after Merlin, that he was still here and was listening to their talk. She was glad that she didn't say anything about her husband's magic.

\- Why... why do you and Merlin believe that you can't live in Camelot together? - Arthur answered after a long while. He felt hurt that Merlin didn't trust him with knowledge about his family, why did this idiot believe that his family wouldn't be welcome in Camelot in the first place?!

\- Because we can't. - Freya answered simply. - Please... convince Merlin to stay in Camelot. - She added.

\- I don't understand, why do you can't stay here? Camelot can provide you safety from Morgana... Why do you insist that Merlin should stay in Camelot in the first place? - Not that Arthur didn't want him in his kingdom, but this woman was his wife and she clearly loved him, why did she prefer her husband to stay in a castle?

\- Because without Merlin, Camelot would fell a long time ago. - She sneered. - How many times I had to patch him after he protected your life... poisoned, wounded, cursed, sick... - Freya shook her head gently, trying to push away pictures of her husband wounded.

\- What?! - He and Leon shouted at the same time.

\- Are you really that stupid? What about the first immortal army? Do you really think that Morgana destroyed the skeletons? Or the second one mysteriously vanished? - Freya believed in Merlin's destiny but it didn't change that Arthur could be a little more help with it! - Tavern?! REALLY?! My husband doesn't even drink! - Freya raised her voice, she couldn't control her anger. Arthur maybe was Once and Future King, but Merlin was her love, she was worried about him. He may be an Emrys, but for her first was her husband, father of her child.

Freya's outburst shocked Arthur and his first knight. If he was confused before, now his mind was in complete mess. Merlin, defender of Camelot in secret?! That was a ridiculous idea! This idiot had two left hands! Yeah, he was incredibly loyal and stupid enough, but... no no... that wasn't right.

The tavern? Gaius always said that Merlin was...

He looked at the old man, who was pretending to take care of Henry, but he did everything that there could be done.

\- Gaius... is this true? - He asked with a sharp voice.

\- One day you will learn how much they sacrificed for you. - Gaius quoted quietly his own words and sighed, the cat was out the bag now. Freya destroyed the rest of Merlin's secrets, well. almost all. - Go, talk to him... he is on the west tower, he goes there often when he needs some space. - Gaius answered.

This is going to be a long talk.


	8. With all my heart 2

They were sitting at the camp in silence. Merlin was lost in his own thoughts, in his own world full of Freya's wonderful smile. Seeing her again was the most wonderful and the most terrible thing that ever happened to him. It was so good to kiss her again, to see her smile again, but knowing that they can't be together, that being happily ever after was not for them... it hurts.

\- Why haven't you ever tell me? - Arthur asked with a quiet voice. He started creating many various scenarios where he apparently killed his best friend's love. He had so many questions, but... he had to start with the one, right?

Merlin looked at him and after few seconds, he sighed.

\- Because you would chop my head off. - Merlin smiled, but it was a sad smile. Arthur wasn't buying this answer, Merlin sighed and answered again. - Because I didn't blame you. And even then I knew you good enough to know that you would blame yourself. - Warlock answered truthfully. He wasn't afraid of accusation of treason. He was a walking, breathing treason.

Arthur looked at Gwen like he wanted to check if he heard Merlin correctly, then he looked at his friend.

\- I killed the love of your life... and that was what worried you? - Arthur couldn't believe.

\- She was a danger to the Camelot, as she said... she was cursed. You were protecting your people. You did what you had to. - Merlin shrugged and looked somewhere far away.

Curse... curse... Gwen and Arthur still didn't know what that meant, what kind of curse?

\- And what about you and your feelings? - Gwen asked, making Merlin chuckle.

\- Since when are they important? - he couldn't stop himself. He regretted that in the same second that this words left his mouths, but he couldn't bite his tongue, it was already too late.

\- What do you mean since when?! - Arthur seemed to be angry that Merlin thinks so little about himself. Maybe it was his fault, that whole talking about being an idiot? But it couldn't be it... Merlin was an idiot, he was a prat... that wasn't insulting... that was just their thing.

\- It doesn't matter Arthur. My life worth less than yours. This is how always been, is and always will be. - Merlin shrugged, he should bite off his tongue for saying those things but he was too tired, too distracted by Freya, even if she was not here.

Arthur froze, hearing those words that he heard from his father so many years ago. That wasn't true! Without Merlin he would be lost a long time ago, there wouldn't be any Camelot... even if Arthur had a hard time to admit that.

\- Merlin, that's not true. - Gwen started but Merlin interrupted her.

\- Besides... thinking about Freya in every different category that a Monster that should be killed was treason. I couldn't even mourn properly, because if somebody would learn I would be killed. - Merlin sighed, changing the direction of this conversation.

\- Nevermind. You know now... You two should rest, we should return to Camelot as soon as possible. - Merlin decided that he didn't want to talk any more about this, he rose up and went to collect some wood.

But Arthur promised himself that this was not the end of this talk.


End file.
